Hound

Hound: A hireling for OD&D

Idea by Christian Kessler as interpreted by me, Marky Mark.

Standing a meter tall with stringy grey, to brown, to black hair, with a black nose and blue or hazel colored eyes, the hounds of Killnerd came into being when the sea wolves of the northern coast were interbred with the hunting hounds brought by tradesmen and settlers from the south. In the town Killnerd, they are now specifically kept as watchdogs against the goblins occupying the stony slopes of the coastline.

A hound has 1 HD per level, and at level 3 and 4 receives a +1 to their total HP. It matches the Hit table, Saves, and XP advancement of a Fighting Man, but can not exceed the 4th level.

XP for hounds can be gained by slaying foes as per Player Characters, but they gain the entirety of the XP value of Goblins they have turned. Only hounds gain XP for turning Goblins. For example, if a hound turns a a band of 6 goblins, that hound would net their XP* as if it had otherwise slain them.
*something like 60xp (10/gobbo) in OD&D iirc, but sub the XP for whatever game you play.

When encountered by a hound, Goblins (not Hobgoblins or Bugbears) test their morale immediately. A party with a hound trying to negotiate with goblinoids receives a -2 to reaction rolls.

A hound's loyalty is rolled with 4d6 upon purchase, 6d6 if raised as a pup. As long as it is treated with love and fed, its loyalty raises by 1 each day. Breeders might sell a hound anywhere from 10-20 gp.

The hounds have a piercing bark which echoes across the stone hollers of their homelands. To goblin kind, these barks send shivers of disgust down their crooked spines. To Turn Goblinoid, roll 2d6 and consult the chart below. A score equal to or above the number listed succeeds in turning. This affects up to 2d6 targets, as per the Cleric Turn Undead.

Goblinoid/Foe	Hound: Level 1	Level 2	Level 3	Level 4
Goblin	7	T	T	D
Hobgoblin	9	7	T	T
Bugbear	11	9	7	T
Ogre/Orc	X	11	9	7
Troll**	X	X	11	9

X - No Effect

T - Turned

D - Disbanded

# - Target Number

*Personally, I don’t lump Ogres or Orcs into the Goblinoid Family Tree™. But if you need a tougher, more humanoid foe to try and scare away, this row can be used. Humans, dwarves, elfs, etc are affected as Orcs, if need be.

**Likewise as above, yet this row can be used for even more powerful monsters. Absolutely most monsters will eat your hound without hesitation, but for especially grizzled and mighty hounds, this might prove applicable. A hound could route a small dragon from the fealty for its wounded master.

Boors

Zelda Fitzgerald, Three Ballerinas. 

Boors: an outing in Violence.

If it has a setting, it is set half a century preceding the Great War of Uyrupe, after the events of The Country and Swine.

It is curbed from Violence, broken into shape.

Who are you? You are from Ortland, one of the greatest powers off the main continent, whose maritime puissance sowed colonies across the globe and reaped stolen wealth back to the motherland. The Great War devoured many selfless Ortish soldiers under the guidance of King Ort IX, a valor proudly worn by their children and non-combatant peers. As of now, your national pride swells in sport. As such, you travel to the mainland to partake in the viewing of matches and if possible, spend no money doing so. More often than not you come home laden with valuables, souvenirs and liquid cash throughout the continental Federation of Uyrupe (the FU). You’re just here for a bit of cheekiness, a dip into doing something naughty. Though when it goes off, you feel nothing. The giddiness turns into something driven and brutish, one-minded in crushing the nearest unfamiliar face and snatching purse or wallet from tables. It is not anger you are feeling, it is freedom. A superstitious mass of grey, carb and beer sweaty flesh tattooed with the motifs of your team’s insignias, iconography, heroes and hallowed dates, you are a Boor of Ortland. Roll 3d20 for your age. Results below 16 count as 16. There is a 3in6 chance of starting with a camera with 6d6 exposures remaining and a 2in6 chance of possessing a Knife. Roll d36 to determine what city in Ortland you come from and your background. The city you’re from, roll d36. 11 - Dgerselbury 12 - Charlreechester 13 - West Whittpen 14 - East Brightbided 15 - South Bex 16 - Royal Raundsvy 21 - Hexwentbourne 22 - St. Wick 23 - Bolbans 24 - North Wewelltyne 25 - Crookmeed 26 - Thaxtedmoo 31 - Kernechway 32 - Thillbeanorth 33 - Lynntagestead 34 - Wathship 35 - Aneswich 36 - Killnerd Your Background, roll d36. 11 - You need d6666 cash to kick up to Big Duke if you value your thumbs. 12 - The court-mandated sobriety bracelet was removed before the jib and now everyone wants to buy you a drink. 13 - You went on jib 3 days before your 20th anniversary, promising to bring back a gift. 14 - You broke your foot kicking the face of a man in Graetzburg. You add an additional 5 minutes to moving unless wheeled. You begin to play with a wheelchair. 15 - You came straight from your white-collar day job, your suit covering up your lewd tattoos. People think you’re smarter than you actually are. +1 Vs Arrest while wearing the suit unsullied. 16 - Believing the FU is clearly fated to dissolve in the coming years, you're adamant about the value of the Ortland Sterling, eager to browbeat and slander the continental economy. You are currently looking for work. 21 - Your spouse left you. Time to let loose! 22 - You have had some training in first aid. You can patch up a single Injury for each Boor, supplemented with spirits. 23 - You’ve tucked a bag of 3d6 meat pies from your home city under your jacket. 24 - You’re a law enforcement officer in your home city, you can empathize with the Police. +1 Vs Arrest. 25 - You got in trouble at the Train Station. Roll Vs. Arrest. If you succeed, continue on, otherwise roll a new Boor. 26 - You have reservations made for you on the way to the Train Station at a café d3x10 blocks aways from the stadium. 31 - You’re a poor polyglot, able to scrap by with sparse conversation or words with the locals of cities. 32 - Your trade job has you in possession of ratchets and wrenches which fit snugly in your sleeve or pocket. As Blunt weapon. 33 - You have a knack for fast talking your way out of trouble with the fuzz. +1 Vs Arrest. 34 - The death of a close friend has you on jib in their memory, honoring them with every theft and pint. 35 - It’s your birthday! You’re especially smashed, +4 bonus Vs. Arrest. 36 - You’re on a sanctioned holiday with an extra d66+100 cash stipend to spend. Starting The Jib You start in a city not in Ortland. Give this city a name and some identifiers if it helps. You begin play after the Match, with a 2in6 chance of the Ortland team having won (not a very good team). If they won, you have Advantage to all rolls for the next hour. After the Match you have d6x10 cash to spend on drinks or food as below before the return trip home. Canned beverages hit as Glass. 2 liter Liquor bottles - 20 cash 2 liter wine bottles - 15 cash 1 pint beer cans - 4 cash Bit of Scram - 3 cash Marching from the stadium to the Train Station, the streets are where you make your profit. On the jib, you steal what you can before leaving the city. From pedestrian pockets, cafes, newsstands, stalls, markets, tables, whatever. What you bring back you keep, all while looking to spend as little cash as possible. It doesn't matter what you steal, the action is the juice.

C Type items = d66: notes of cash, fake jewelry, fancy hats. B Type items = d66+50: cash clips, wallets, purses, cheap jewelry. A Type items = d20x100: cash wads, heirloom jewelry, fine furs. Throwing To throw a handheld object at a target, roll 16+ on a d20. If they are not in cover or not moving, roll with Advantage. If throwing multiple objects, add +1 per additional shot. If successful, roll for how many projectiles find their mark, resolving each projectile individually. When someone is hit, roll a d20. -Add +2 for each injury they have. -Glass objects add +2 to this roll. -Stone objects add +4 to this roll. If the result is 10 or more, they go down. Otherwise, they are Injured. Melee Both combatants roll d12 and add relevant modifiers. -If the difference between them is 1 or less, both are Injured and Down. -If the difference is 2-3, the high-scorer is injured. The low-scorer is injured and goes down. -If the difference is 4+, the low-scorer is injured and goes down. -In a melee with a target that does not fight back, roll d12 as the attacker with relevant modifiers. If the score is 6+, they are Injured. If the score is 9+, they are Injured and Down. Each previous Injury adds +2 to this roll. Anything used as a Knife would add +3. Blunt instruments would add +2. Down & Out For the purposes of this game, being Down refers to those beaten so badly they are helpless to defend themselves. Most match attendees won’t seek to outright kill. But sometimes things happen, so, if needed, treat it as dying per the Violence rules. After violence is concluded, roll a d20 for each person Down. Add +2 for each Injury. On a 10+ they are Out, beaten to the point where they go unconscious and require medical attention. Otherwise, they are Critically Injured and could die when next Downed. These critical condition Boors are usually directed to the nearest medical center, hands stuffed with some cash and a bottle of booze to accompany them. While Down & Out, you are helpless to be Arrested. Arrested Worse than being dead, you are arrested by the city’s police and carted off to a cell. A foreigner in their country, you won’t be kept here for long but you will miss out on the fun. That lad is out of commission, the player may roll a new character to bump into on the street. The game might be over if all Boors are arrested. You have one save in this game: Vs Arrest. When hassled or roughhoused by the police, roll Vs Arrest. A 9+ is successful. Circumstances to avoid arrest should be taken into consideration for Advantage or Disadvantage. The effects of Alcohol grant a +2 bonus to avoid being Arrested. Crowds Citizens gather in droves down the street to confront you. They arrive in gatherings of 4d6. Crowds will throw objects back at you. There is a 2in6 chance they will provoke you. If Police are present, both sides are hesitant to engage with your group. Best take this for granted. Police They arrive in groups of 2d6, with a 1in6 chance of arriving with a squad car with a wagon that can hold 10 detainees. This Squad car is old and bulky, squeezing through the narrow streets at breakneck turns. If the Boors actively avoid police, crossing the street, disperses and regroups, etc, roll with Advantage Vs. Arrest. Police will pursue the Boors 2in6 times, 4in6 if they are rowdy. This pursuit lasts d6x10 minutes. Every 10 minutes the Boors may attempt to evade arrest by rolling to save again. When in the same encounter alongside a Crowd, there is a 2in6 chance the Police will escort the Boors safely for 10 minutes, stony-faced while walking past the jeering Crowd. Otherwise, they stand by and do nothing. Police never Throw objects. When attacked, they engage on sight swinging truncheons and banging shields or street poles before their sticks find faces to crush. Their truncheon swings as Blunt (+2), and their training gives them +1.

After beating you, they will attempt to Arrest you. Chanting The Chant is your magic. It is your will made loud, your love made audible. Love is the only thing that is real and the love of Ortland shines glorious in your heart. Fellow lads about you, tears in your eyes; it's all so lovely. Chanting provides the bonus of Advantage to all rolls for as long as you Chant.

Chants such as: ~Ortland bravest upon the waaaaves!~ ~ORTland! ORTland! ORTland! ORTland! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!~

Chanting attracts attention. Every 10 minutes you spend while Chanting has a 3in6 chance of attracting a Crowd and a 1in6 chance of attracting the Police. Streets Don't worry about street names or shortcuts, the streets of Continental cities are old, narrow, winding and often nameless. As GM, simply state how many blocks away they are from the train station and let the group lead from there.

Time and Distance Reference 10 blocks = .5 miles or .8 km Each turn is 10 minutes, you can walk 10 blocks unbothered in that time.

Every 20 minutes (2 turns), roll on the Encounter Table. 2d6x10 = # of blocks to Train Station from the stadium. Doing anything worth doing takes 10 minutes with keen inebriated concentration. Doing anything nefarious during those 10 minutes has a 2in6 chance of attracting Police.

As you move from block to block, you have a chance of attracting a Crowd.

The chance of attracting a Crowd is Xin6, where X being the number of blocks moved divided by 20 and rounded down.

E.G. Moving 80 blocks has a 4in6 chance of attracting a Crowd in between turns. Being especially rambunctious or conspicuous may bump the chance up according to GM discretion.

To avoid Police or Crowds, the Boors can backtrack, finding a new avenue of advancement at the cost of an additional 10 minutes. Street features, roll d36.

11 - A seedy bar with a rough looking Crowd of 4d6 ruffians. 4in6 chance to provoke.

12 - Cafe, with 2d6 patrons with (d3: 1=C Type 2=B Type 3=A Type) Items.

13 - Discount costumes & masks on store racks outside.

14 - Street vendor, souvenirs as C Type items.

15 - A couple walking towards your direction.

16 - 2d6 leering teenagers.

21 - Fruit Stand, ripening in the sunlight.

22 - Cafe, with 3d6 patrons with (d3: 1=C Type 2=B Type 3=A Type) Items. 23 - Loose stones in the road or bricks in walls.

24 - Street vendor, watches as d3: 1=C Type 2=B Type 3=A Type) Items.

25 - A geezer with glasses and deep pockets.

26 - Ice cream cart.

31 - Refuse bins with 1d6 empty glass bottles. 32 - Cafe, with 4d6 patrons with (d3: 1=C Type 2=B Type 3=A Type) Items. 33 - Some sod looking at you funny. 34 - Street vendor, fake bags as C Type Items. 35 - Sausage cart. 36 - A lost lotto ticket, winning d6x20 cash to be redeemed at the nearest mart. Train Station You have 90 minutes until your train leaves. Though you haven't even bought a ticket for this departure - and could therefore take a later departure - it’s best for you to arrive home at a sensible hour to return to your job tomorrow. At the station there is a 2in6 chance of Police being present and searching for unruly foreigners. They are the final tyrants before returning to the bosom of Ortland. Oftentimes this obstacle requires a pyrrhic push to the train gate. Onboard, count the money you made. This is what you have to spend on your next jib. You could buy new clothes, liquor, or jewelry to wear. Your save Vs Arrest improves, lowering by 1. Your Save can never go below 5+. The following is a list of beverages to drink and/or throw as objects. Canned beverages hit as Glass. 2 liter Liquor bottles - 20 cash 2 liter wine bottles - 15 cash 1 pint beer cans - 4 cash Bit of Scram - 3 cash Encounter Table, roll d20. 1 - A squad car swerves around the corner, roll a d20. On 10+ you avoid the car, otherwise you are struck by the vehicle. Roll as being Hit by Stone. If someone is hit and goes Down. 2d6 Police from inside will storm out the car to Arrest them and beat any other Boors. 2 - 2d6 Local dirtbags, ambivalent about the city's sports matches, either (Roll d6, 1-3) likes the Boors attitude or (4-6) starts to pester you for being foreign. 3 - d3 Police on horseback. On horseback Police have a better vantage, Boors lose their save Advantage vs Arrest when trying to avoid arrest by means of dispersal or slinking by. Police on horseback do not tire from pursuit, and will follow the Boors until they are evaded. 4 - A row of 2d6 scooters are parked alongside each other, their owners drinking wine at a nearby cafe. 5 - Locals have a party, could be a birthday or something. Walking around it takes 10 minutes. Moving through it with disregard negates that delay. Causing havoc while passing through has a 3in6 chance of causing a Crowd to follow in your wake for d3x10 minutes. 6 - A street vendor sells the merchandise of the city's team, your own team's opponent for the Match earlier that day. 7 - A lotto machine at the nearest mart is being restocked with scratch offs. Sneakily, you can swipe d66 scratch offs, each with a 1in20 chance of being redeemed for d6 cash. 8 - A canvasser hands out political flyers for (Roll d6) 1= The Continental Church 2= Republican Sympathizers 3= The Communist Party 4= The Fascist Front 5-6= Work in a nearby cafe. 9 - A bright blue metal bin with just a slot stands at the corner of a street. The sign on its side implores citizens to surrender unwanted knives safely into the bin. the slit is wide enough for fingers to slide through but not a whole, sweaty fist. d6 knives do sit at the bottom of the bin, disposed of years ago without removal. 10 - A bus stop, it will take you d6 blocks closer to the station. None of you have fare. There is a 1in6 chance your bus will actually take you d6 blocks further from your station, but you would be too drunk to notice. 11 - A jewelry store is having a flash sale, upon cases for quicker access. Glass is thin too though. Roll d3 for quality of the items:1=C Type 2=B Type 3=A Type. 12 - A tucked away dope shop sells "water pipes" and paraphernalia. The store owner has hash for sale behind the counter to sell to those who are "super cool". 13 - A black cat sits in the street ahead staring your direction. 14 - d3 painters work on ladders 4 meters high painting windows. Their ladders block your way. You may either pass around them in the street or walk underneath them. While walking underneath there is a 2in6 chance of paint dripping on you. 15 - An old water fountain in the square depicting some lout hero of the Federation of Uyrupe. Fat FU coins sit in the shallow water scattered across its floor like some beautiful mermaid’s lair. There are d666 coins of cash in the fountain pool. To most, it is a faux-pas to walk inside a public fountain. 16 - A cabby beckons you to ride with him, but is annoyed when all Boors try to squeeze in at once to save on fare. The cabby will drive towards the Train Station, but every 10 blocks there is a 2in6 chance he will became so incensed at the antics and burping of the Boors squeezed together in the backseat that he will kick them out. He will still demand payment (Blocks traveled x 5 = cash owed to driver). 17 - An outside market clutters the street, taking an additional 10 minutes to pass through. However, it is a smorgasbord for C Type items to pilfer and pocket. 18 - A red faced Boor is thrown out of a pub, he shouts obscenities back inside while hiking up his trousers, of which he lost the belt to. His name is Rudd and he wishes to fight the small 2d6 Crowd inside, but could be easily led away with a pint or smoke. Rudd joins with the group, holding up his trousers while striding alongside. Rudd doing anything has a 2in6 chance of his trousers slipping down. 19 - A fortune teller hocks spells and divinations for cash. If paid a bit of cash, they will spout some fake good fortune. If promised something valuable, they will teach an old Chant that Ortish Raiders used to sing hundreds of years ago while on conquest for plunder. This Old Chant grants double Advantage and makes dogs of all breeds howl and thrash about on their leashes, lunging to nip at their masters. 20 - Someone left the back of a beer truck open. There are 2 pallets of beer. Each pallet contains 12 boxes. Each box contains 24 bottles of beer. Foreign made swill but acceptable to the Ortish palate.

Meatheads Play Report 1

 Meatheads Play Report 1, DM notes at bottom.

– Meatheads is a hack of OD&D; a fighter only playstyle with additional XP gained through feats of strength. –

The northern sea churns it gray, cold waters in the early morning. Mists envelope the wet granite cliffs, pouring along the stone hills and peat fields just beyond the shore’s lips. A bitter wind blows south, pushing a vessel towards a village along the coast, Killnerd. The vessel’s scarred underbelly bobs in the bay, its lifeboat’s bringing to the village docks domestic items and trade goods to journey southwards to the mountain lands.

Discharged from this vessel, The Burning Stream, where a number of crewmates who, having finished their term of service, were allotted enough silver to spend the night at the village inn or hitch a carriage south. Only two remained in Killnerd: Maxima, a muscle bound woman with awe inspiring legs and Winslow, a grizzled, barrel-chested dwarf of good nature and hardy stock. Aboard The Burning Stream they hauled cargo across the frigid waters evading the Toothed Passage of J’ukilt all the while skirmishing with the rat-pirates of Yunk Rock. These two meatheads grew weary of labor, and having heard rumors of goblins stalking the slopes of an ancient hobbit burial mound nearby and made a pact with one another to become dungeoneers.

Maxima and Winslow wasted no time; they immediately sought out a heavy thing to lift. Asking around town, they were pointed to the Higgin’s farm where they met with Dundalk and his son Spynt, a strong hobbit lad nearly the size of dwarf. They then become acquainted with Brownie, the largest pig in Killnerd. Both meatheads boasted against one another yet both were able to lift Brownie clear over their heads, astonishing and amusing the villagers around them.

Pigs are very important to my work.

Dundalk Higgin’s offered work at his peat farm for 2 gp a week, but turned down. In the village square was a lively discussion between the hobbit dockmaster and a sumptuous looking dwarf. Winslow spoke friend to this fellow dwarf who introduced himself as Ardmoc Underbust, a broker on behalf of House Drippindhaal of the Southern Mountains, a rich dwarven house known for its emeralds. Ardmoc spoke to the meatheads in the confines of his own storehouse where his associates tidied their stocks of trade goods and weaponry.

Ardmoc informed the meatheads that - unknown to the hobbits of this village - eleven of his hirelings had snuck into the Sea Hill Tomb to prospect for gems or metals. Mr. Underbust ordered this expedition 5 days ago which was expected to return last night. Mr. Underbust offered a salary of 20 gp a week to explore the Sea Hill Tomb for these missing dwarves. Whatever additional treasures they pull from its gullet Mr. Underbust would like to purchase, boasting his coffers ran deeper than the hobbits’. 

Having secured a steady gig and gifted some dwarven armaments, the meatheads trekked to the Sea Hill Tomb. Hiking up the coastal hill took 2 hours from leaving the village square to arriving at the summit. Along the stony path they spied the few remaining cairns that rose along the slopes. Many appear to have been toppled, their contents rooted around, whatever body laid there having been taken. 

While in town, the hobbits of the Killnerd informed how the ancient hill tomb was once a barrow to the hobbits who lived along these coasts centuries ago, but the barrow burials were abandoned in favor of cairn construction along the slopes. Yet even this method fell out of fashion, as hobbits of Killnerd began to move away from burials nearby the hill all together, instead opting for cremation along the cliffs. The ancient burial mound over time has had a shadow of suspicion cast upon it, the hobbits of Killnerd now proclaim it is an “unlucky” place. Hounds are kept at every household and farm, barking into the night at odd hours, feeling something's gaze from the slopes and behind stones. 

Reaching the summit our party found the tomb's entrance. No great marker or earthen gate, they found instead a cut into the stone. Shaped like the puncture wound of a spear, the opening drank the sea air greedily into its depths, the stone hill suckled wind like a swollen leech. 

Maxima and Winslow threw a lit torch 20 feet below, then descended into the pit, its opening wide enough for an armored person to pass through. Picking up their torch, they found themselves in a chamber of spiral designs carved into the stone walls, with depictions of sea hobbit life long ago: fishermen, coral divers, shellfish farmers, weavers and dyers working with joy and care for their craft. Only a clumsy stone archway opened southwards into a cross section hall.

With his cunning dwarf eyes, Winslow noticed a strange piece of stone among the carvings. A convex stone with two finger sized holes on its face along the north side wall. Naturally, he stuck his fingers into the stone, and turned it 45 degrees right, heard a click, then 180 degrees left, heard another click, and returned 45 degrees to the original, 12 o’clock position. This caused a secret passageway to open a lonely chamber with passages leading to the west and east along with a pit in the room’s center.

The party positioned themselves in the western hallway. Maxima approached the pit, sticking her torch into its depths. The light of the torch passed through a translucent carapace, soft pink and green organs quivered and pumped behind 8 black orbs made silvery by the torchlight. The party dropped their flame by surprise, and slithering with great speed, the giant translucent spider darted towards the northeast corner of the chamber, its long ghostly limbs outstretched, black claws at each end. Dagger sized fangs glinting in the torchlight, slathered in some foul secretion, it stood with a threatening display ready but hesitant to risk life in skirmish. Winslow made efforts to commune with the spider, familiar in their ways and mannerisms, but a spitty hiss was all of the spider’s reply. A spear was jabbed the spider’s way, its mood grew fouler, and it made its advance.

We love a big spider, don't we folks?

Shielded by Winslow, Maxima battled with the spider from the rear with the reach of her spear. This two person shield wall fit snuggly along the narrow hobbit corridors, as Winslow batted off the flailing spider with his shield, Maxima stabbed at the creature, finding hits at the softer joints under its thorax. Back into its foul hole they shoved it, hissing and thrashing until it curled up in death. Their lit torch still within its pit, the meatheads saw the spider’s lair held a smattering of coins and 4 clutches of eggs. With them they took the webs of the slain spider as well, rolling them into a bolt of web “fabric”. 

From this spider chamber they headed east and arrived in a grander room, its high arched ceiling slightly cracked as slivers of noon sunlight pierced through the dark chamber to illuminate a stone slab altar set up on a 5 foot raised stone-stacked platform. Upon the altar the party could see something but it was not clear. A passage to the south led to a hallway going east to west, while on the other side of the room, obscured by the platform, our party discovered an old oak and iron door that, despite being able to turn its handle, would not budge open.

Atop the stone platform our meatheads stepped, seeing before them some stacks of gold and silver coins surrounding and an ancient blade. The metal of this short and narrow sword has turned greenish brown, most likely made of bronze from long ago. Its hilt made from opaque gemstones and bronze intertwined into a shape of an oak, its curling branches the hand guard. In the hands of a hobbit it might have been a longsword, but in the hands of a tall-folk it is little more than a shortsword.

Pocketing these treasures, the party turned towards the southern passage to hear the chanting of a goblin parade. Ducking behind the cover of the stone platform, the meatheads evaded the eyes of the goblins. The jovial band of nasty freaks gazed into the chamber briefly and having spotted that the sword was gone from the altar, began to snicker and spit. They continued their merry making down the hallway further west, squealing with glee. The meatheads decided it best to leave the old hobbit blade atop the altar, for fear of it being cursed, and exited the dungeon. Atop the sea hill’s summit, a salty noon breeze cooled their skin, their hands clutching the first drop treasure they would recover.

Thoughts as DM

As with any session I’m incredibly nervous up to the very few minutes right before the session begins. Soon the nerves settle and it's all very familiar. Same game, same game.

Killnerd is a small coastal village of 62 people, 42 hobbits, 11 dwarves, 2 elves and 4 humans. Each citizen is named and organized into social circles. This is not something required from the adventure, I simply wanted to chart the village in this manner. Killnerd’s economy is small, dealing mostly in peat and fishing, but acts as an outpost for the trade routes of the northern sea cities to the kingdoms southwards.

There was a moment of the 3.5/PF brain during play that I’m slightly embarrassed about. As Winslow met Ardmoc Underbust, the player asked if he would recognize the dwarven family herald. I asked the player to roll an INT test, and immediately after I said so thought to myself “why?”. The player passed regardless, and rather than explain or apologize I moved right along. What can you do sometimes?

What can we expect from Meatheads? The rules are simple: fighter only characters while having an additional potential for XP gained through feats of strength (lifting, pulling, pushing, grappling, or throwing heavy-ass objects etc). This is a simple addition to the rules, but I think (and hope) that it will deform OD&D. Before play began, the first character death occurred. A player’s character died during creation, having opted to test their Strength in hopes of more gains. These were lofty goals, but they were unfortunately crushed.

Why am I making meatheads? A manic, short-term obsession most likely, but I am finding that it is a generally good way to practice OD&D and dungeon design. It hasn’t quite taken shape yet, I will let you know when I think it has.